Choice & Consequence
by TheMightyRen
Summary: Foolishly in New Moon, Jake turns Bella away, she turns to Quil that day and together they deal with the rejection, romance blossoms between them but it's not meant to be, the spirits have commanded and so it shall be...
1. Chapter 1

TMR/C&C/VONE/

**PLEASE NOTE 'CHAPTER ONE' IS THE 'OLD VERSION' OF THIS STORY, THE NEW VERSION WILL FOLLOW SHORTLY. THIS CHAPTER WILL REMAIN FOR REFERENCE AND SO WHEN CHAPTER TWO IS ADDED IT WILL ACTUALLY BE PLACED IN A TIMELINE BEFORE THE ORIGINAL FIRST CHAPTER...**

**Also the new version will have to be cut on here due to posting regulations, it will however be posted in full smutty goodness on happyeverafterproject, jacob black n pack and tricky raven. **

CHEERS GUYS ~ REN x

* * *

A short story in where Bella's nature caused more problems than it solved and by doing what she thought right she ends up hurting the people she values most. AU New Moon. No Vampires.

One

"_There are always two choices. Two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it's easy."_

How it had all come to this she'll never fully comprehend. This morning she woke in his arms, the same as any other Saturday, overly warm with sweat dripping from every pore of her body. Her pale pink cami scrunched up around her back. Her clothes stuck to her all over, it was a welcome feeling.

She really appreciated her showers on a Saturday morning also if she was sweaty it meant that she was with him, encased by his broad shoulders. Admitted, they didn't fit together the same since his growth spurt, they were in-between where it was comfortable to rest along one another and sometimes it took a few fidgets before they settled but usually in their sleep, like this morning it came more naturally to both of them.

This specific Saturday was slightly out of the normal routine. Usually their kisses when they woke were slow, tender, gradually building into a needy caress, with their hands touching, holding, and squeezing every inch of skin in and out of sight. There was a deep rooted awkwardness holding them back a little this morning more than ever before. They were both torn inside between wanting something, and loving someone else. Bella hated it.

They did shower, like normal and after they had eaten breakfast, which she cooked for him, the same as every weekend, knowing he was lethal in the kitchen. Then he drove with her to work, kissed her and left to patrol. After work she would usually wait for him and they would drive back to La Push. Today they agreed she would go shopping and then meet up in his mother's kitchen. They were going to make cookies this afternoon, he'd practically begged for them, chattered about them all week. Bella had teased and teased before agreeing, bartering with the innuendo of sexual flavors he could owe her, depending on the flavor cookie, knowing the chances of something happening before they shut down were minimal. Like always they didn't let it bother them. They still teased each other mercilessly and she'd laughed at how she knew she'd have to make double, just because he'd eat it the first batch raw.

When she arrived in his mother's kitchen he was reading the news paper at the small dining table, welcoming her home with a kiss that had her eyes closing and breath hitching. Once she did manage to get the cooking started, after eating the gourmet sandwiches he had, so he told her, he had 'spent hours preparing' they were peanut butter and only one of his had jelly on because he hadn't thought to check if there was another jar so he gave the 'good one' to her.

She was right; he was constantly pinching fingers worth of the mixture, straight out of the bowl. His deep laugh mixed with her light giggles until finally he settled with his arms wrapped around her hips, his groin pressed tight into her ass, rocking slightly. He whispered all the things he would like to do with the dough, making her blush terribly and yearn for more than the few minutes she knew they had before the rest of the pack arrived.

It was weird, perfect and so normal, so totally _them_, just like it had been since that first day in the garage, when his teasing had began and continued, bringing her out of her depression in a totally different way to Jacob.

It only took an instant for Bella know things weren't going to be like that anymore, four people's lives were changed by that obstinate force, 'the' connection. The commitment forced on them by fate, the subsequent request she'd made, that she'd believed whole heartedly that the other was too young to bare. She had thought that neither of them where ready for something so serious, so resolute.

_Oh! The irony._

What had been was now confetti on the floor of his mother's kitchen as he froze. Slack-jawed still pressed behind her. He gawked at the little girl in Embry's arms. Jacob, _her_ _Jacob_ tumbled into the kitchen with Seth moments after the fact. A split second after everything had 'shifted'. Her chest hurt at the realisation of what this meant. Ridiculously she already knew they were never meant to stay together, still, being who it was only hurt all the more.

She blamed herself entirely, immediately she knew it was the sprits way of punishing them both for interfering with what they had planned with her and Jacob.

The boys watched Quil's reaction silently, while Jake just didn't know what to do; hovering between two of his best friends, he knew how much they had come to mean to one another and he didn't want either of them in pain, especially not her, even if a small part of him was relieved by this revelation.

He owed him for healing the only girl he was sure to ever love and at the same time he had hope that maybe this would encourage her to give them the chance to be together because all he had ever wanted was to wrap his arms around her – like that.

"Get her out of here." Quil dropped Bella and stepped away, back toward the row of cabinets facing away from them, the boys still hadn't moved. This was not normal, not that imprinting was normal for any of them but this time it was a baby, a toddler, no THAT was just... Very, _very_ unfair, to both Quil and Claire.

A sudden flash of fury ripped through Bella, even though she knew she had no right, she knew that she and Quil would not be together for ever. Even though they were all well aware that one day she would be with Jake, that she would happily give herself to him, dote on him a different way than she had up to now. What had her angry was the fact that really it was the little girl that had tipped the baking in Quil's favour, Bella had wanted to make pie's but Emily said her niece really, _really_ liked cookies. No wonder she was meant for Quil, Quil adored cookies.

With trembling hands she wiped the first of her tears away; she could feel all eyes on her though. Without making eye-contact, for fear she would fall apart and crumble to the floor she turned to the sink, washed the grease from her hands and dried them, she needed to get out of the too small room, stuffy from having the oven on and the window closed, stoked by the over-heated bodies of the wolves. Calmly she walked to the coat hooks close to the back door and slid her arms into her coat; she took one last look at Quil who was now hunched over the counters he'd moved to, his back to her, shoulders stiff, breaths shallow - too much for a sixteen year old boy to deal with.

Which is EXACTLY why she'd insisted nothing changed after the second, first time Jake had seen her, when they imprinted.

She looked to Jake now and spoke quietly, knowing he was her only sane way out of this house and trying to cause as little disturbance as possible, "Grab my bag from his room please." Jake nodded and moved to fetch it.  
"Embry get her out of here!" Quil shouted. Bella looked to Embry who swallowed, still shocked over what had just happened adjusting the little girl's weight on his hip.

"Err... yea... right, ok then." He went to turn but Bella rested a hand on his forearm and shook her head, and just pointed to the lounge. Bella who hadn't taken her eyes off Quil turned for the door instead, meeting Jake on his way back. With her hand on the knob half turned she spoke softly over her shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Quil." Jake loyal as ever followed her silently. He hadn't pulled it all the way closed before she heard the yell and crash from inside the house.

"_I said get her fucking out of here Em! I don't want to __**fucking**__ see her. She ruined everything. Everything!"_

Jake still couldn't find the words, he felt just as much to blame for not trying harder at the very beginning, for not fighting for her like he wanted, like is heart was telling him to, for waiting for Bella to come to her senses on her own.

Jacob heard Quil stalking for the door, he knew he wouldn't let her go without a fight; why would he? Jacob knew he hadn't wanted to give up the battle for her love even before they imprinted. Positioning himself so that he wasn't too close to her but still blocking her from sight, he had a feeling if Quil saw him touching her he would be angry. The fact that she was his imprint wouldn't matter to Quil and at this moment in time he wouldn't remember the pain he had suffered the last six months.

Just like Jake predicted Quil slammed through the front door, bouncing it into the sliding on the front of the house, in the process breaking that one pane in that had always rattled.  
"Bella look at me." He waited a moment, his features softening. "Let me look at you. _Please_." He begged but she stood silently gathering her thoughts. Her back turned away from both of them.

"I can't Quil." Turning she looked tentatively up into Jakes dark eyes and then leaned around his muscular physique and swallowed, nervously wringing her hands. "Right now I just have to go." She waved her hand between the three of them. "We both knew and so did you, that one day we would... we would end our relationship, we knew this could happen, that we didn't have forever and we knew that you could imprint."

She gulped, Jake knew how close she was to loosing control and dropped the bag near her feet and moved to cradle her to his chest. In an instant, her head tucked tight into him, "You have tribe things to deal with right now and I… I need to shower. Cookies just need cutting; tray is ready on the side next to the oven, eighteen minutes then-"

"FUCK THE COOKIES BELLA - why are you leaving?" Her fist tightened in Jacob's tee, she just needed to leave.

"I have to - this is our fault, my fault." She looked up into Jakes eyes, getting that fuzzy warm, whole feeling she always did, praying he could see the apology there. "If we hadn't carried on the way things were before you both phased, I could have protected you from this, if we... If I had been with Jake... You may not have imprinted." She was starting to babble and Jake kissed her forehead,

"Shhh, honey you don't know, imprinting-" She shook her head, it didn't matter what Jacob said she was always going to feel this was her fault deep in her chest.

"You two have been different," Quil protested, taking a step toward them, his hand outstretched willing Bella to take it, to come back to him. "What can I be to her?" His whole frame was shaking he was terrified and just wanted to hold her and at the same time he just wanted to cling to Claire.

Bella released Jake and stepped towards Quil. Jake mirrored her; like always it was instinct, things so fluid between them. When one moved the other did, both knowing subconsciously where the other would be before they went there.

Bella always found relief in that, the fact that at least some things came naturally even before they had imprinted.

Quil she's crying you have to go to her," Bella reasoned, "you're already more to her than you know." Bella's eyes flicked to Jake quickly and then back at Quil, "I know how scared she must be and she's far too young to understand properly." Bella had slowly stepped toward him ran her finger's through his unruly hair as he dropped to his knees in the mud of what should have been the front lawn,

"I want _you_, I'm in love with you." Grabbing her by the wrist, he yanked her into his lap to kiss her. Thankfully Jake was quicker and broke her from his grasp, pushing her behind him.

"I put up with it before because it was what _she_ wanted, what she asked of me. What she thought was best, we agreed certain things Quil. She doesn't want it anymore."

"Oh, and you know, don't you Jacob?" Quil's tone was cutting, disbelieving in the connection between Bella and Jake. It was at that moment that Quil's reaction bristled inside her, Jake had been so, so good dealing with the ridiculous situation even though she knew it hurt him, she didn't like the way Quil was acting towards him, she didn't like it one bit. She thought this would drive a wedge between them, Jake assured her that it wouldn't and there had never been a crossed word about it before, nothing close to this. She didn't have chance to do more than narrow her eyes in Quil's direction before Jacob spoke.

"You know I do." There was finality in Jake's tone. He was not going to discuss this. It was fact. Jake _did _know. Quil knew he did.

Bella didn't really want the confrontation, she regretted not stopping this in the beginning. It had been selfish of her and Quil to continue their relationship and Jake as always obliging, bending to whatever it was she asked of him. She wondered if she had really wanted it or if she went with the flow because she thought she should.

"Jake take me home please." Without another word or glance in the direction of the house or Quil, Jacob scooped her up and placed her in the truck, she moved to the middle seat and Jake climbed in after her having dropped her bag into the bed of the truck, leaving Quil, in the mud on his knees.

Jake drove the few minutes and pulled along the front of his house. They sat there in silence, fingers laced together on the seat between them.

"You did mean here right?" he asked quietly. She nodded squeezing his fingers trying to stop herself from shaking.

"We could have avoided that if we, if I hadn't been so stubborn."

"I don't think it works like that Bells." Jake sighed, Bella _knew, _she just knew after last night, coming so close to getting carried away with Quil, pushing the boundaries the way they had, it was just too much of a coincidence. She looked away from Jake to the house thoroughly ashamed with herself. How could she tell Jake without hurting him more?

"None of this is fair on you boys, like you don't have enough to deal with. _Frickin' GOD! Jake!"_ Losing his hand, Bella threw her own in the air and they landed with a slap on her thighs.

Jake didn't know how to respond when she started talking about imprinting, their imprint especially. He couldn't imagine anything better, anything more obvious. He'd always, since he was a small boy been besotted with Bella and when she was here, visiting her dad she was exactly the same. Billy and Charlie had always joked about how they would become real family one day.

When Billy heard the news of their imprint he was thoroughly relived, he knew how Jake felt about her, in the beginning he had loved her enough to let her date his friend but then Jake told his dad about the arrangement they made since the imprint. That Bella thought she should stay with Quil, to preserve the secret. Which yes, Billy and Jake could both understand, what Billy didn't understand or like was when Quil phased a month later after a few rocky days things continued as normal. It was fact, Billy would never understand women. Jake thought he understood Bells, she would have hated Quil to think that she had used him but he had always worried that there was something more, a bigger reason as to why she stopped with Quil.

"Bells," Jake spoke gently, always tender, especially when deep in thought like he was now. He glanced over to her scanning her features quickly before looking away, and asked her the question that had been on the tip of his tongue from the beginning. "Is it me you don't want?"

Two

"_There are always two choices. Two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it's easy."_

Her fingers which had been tugging at a loose seam of her jeans froze, her eyes snapping straight to his, no searching required, instantly locking.

Her eyes were wider than he'd ever seen them as she was filled with the burning warmth she always welcomed from being in his proximity. _"Oh, Jake, no!"_ Her hands reached out to him touching his jaw, the planes of his cheeks, his eyebrows, she'd never thought that Jacob could think anything like that. "I just hate that you don't have a choice, I wanted you to have a choice, to know I'd be here when you were ready. I wanted you to know I didn't have to be the only girl you ever loved." Her thumbs brushed either side of his nose and down over his lips, him kissing them on their decent before her hands move to his shoulders gripping him, pulling him sideways into her embrace.

Often they would do things like this, just _respond_ to one another. It was confusing for them both. Bella clambered into his lap, a leg wither side of his, she could feel her hair brushing along the roof of the truck as she leaned up threading her fingers through the hair at the back of his head and nuzzled her nose behind his ear, "It's all so confusing and scary." She was quiet for a moment, "really, really scary Jake, don't you think?" He shook his head.

"I don't know how to explain it to you Bells. You're the only girl I ever saw." He sighed as she scooted back a little so she could see his face, "Before you moved home, the last time you visited for the summer, I think then was the first time I really saw you as a _girl, _you were pretty and" Bella could tell Jake was struggling for words so she waited as he brought his hands up to rub his face, "I shouldn't have started with pretty, that sounds so shallow. To me you were Bells and then some. A lot. Everything." He was quiet as he watched her, "You know, Charlie thought that maybe that year you would ask to stay. I hoped you would." He breathed out heavily, "When you didn't I felt bad, I suppose it looked stupid to Embry and Quil, you were just some girl that came for a few weeks of the year but when you didn't want to come back at all… I sulked for weeks."

Bella didn't know quite what to say, she could tell he wanted to say more, that he had felt more, she could feel it, always feel him, bound so tightly to her. That was what scared her. "Jake," she took her bottom lip between her teeth and decided to be honest with him, "what if… I just…" Bella silenced herself and counted to three in her head, "this is all such a mess. Really where do we start?" Jake looked at her, unintentionally giving her puppy dog eyes.

As Jacob continued to look at her, his expression changed and she felt the buzz. The hum that belonged solely to them, their souls talking silently to one another, the feeling so much more, he was right.

Who was she kidding he was always right, that was what frustrated her so much, ticked her off no end. What had always worried her was what if he only thought these things, remembered these things because the imprint told him to? What if really she had only ever meant to be a teenage crush, not his everything like she was now. He was so young, so pressured, thrust into one situation, barely able to deal with it before being forced into another, told that he had found his everything.

Her expression, her mood was not aligning entirely with his, she was contemplative, he – for the first time in months had hope, a lot of hope.

"Just don't think its you please, Jake." Her hands were resting in her lap, twisting and curling nervously between them. He knew he didn't need to answer her now; it was just something he had needed to ask.

Right now he had to get her out of the truck, he could feel that she was beginning to feel uncomfortable with their proximity, the air buzzing between them, always so close to being something more and yet it was just that little to far out of reach.

All thoughts of Quil were long gone. He had his own future to deal with and Jacob couldn't quite find it in himself to care of the problems Quil was facing, he had his own future back now, that was all that concerned him and he wondered how much of what Quil had healed in Bella was simply superficial, something that she'd pushed so he could have that freedom she insisted on, the freedom he didn't want, never had.

Three

Quil called everyday, often. He was not making things easy for Bella, he left message after message telling her how he missed her, how he loved only her. He told her that he chose her.

The deal breaker was, she didn't choose him, she loved him, she missed him too but she'd always felt something for Jake, even before the imprint they were never too far away from one another after that first day in the garage, in fact it wasn't until Jake phased for the first time and Quil and Bella were left that they began a relationship of sorts and Jacob, although he hated not being with her he worked hard to control his wolf, and he worked harder still to deal with what she'd known, that wasn't easy for Jake. Knowing what she'd truly suffered through all these months, what she had longed for, adding that additional factor did not make things easy on him.

Paul especially was worried for the threat she could be from having the connections she did with the vampire world even if they were no longer in contact with her. So for unity of the pack and protection of the tribe he was ordered to stay away.

It wasn't until the day after Quil phased she called the house and left a message with Billy telling him she was standing out side of Newtons with smoke pouring from underneath the hood of the truck, that she couldn't get hold of Quil and her dad was attending a RTA and had told her to call him, she didn't sound pleased about it at all. Billy asked Sam's to allow Jacob to do this for Charlie, he was sure nothing more would come of it because of her attitude. He could tell she would be hurt by Jake's actions for a long while regardless of what he did for her today.

She didn't like having to ask for help at the best of times, but she had no money until the end of the week and her dad had told her to 'just call them, for me.' She might have growled at him for saying that, he knew her too well.

When Jake arrived just over thirty minutes later, his hair gone, broader and taller than before, a hard mask on his face as he slammed the door to his rabbit, she knew these things had happened, she'd seen it from afar, up close was a completely different thing, she wanted to cry for not going to him, for not fighting to keep him by her side.

It was with an new and _improved_ order in place of 'do only what you have to,' that he found himself stalking almost sulkily toward her, not pleased that the removal of the original order would change nothing, he couldn't believe he had broke his promise as far as she could see.

Bella had thought he was just about to speak when he faltered mid-step and just stopped and looked at her like he'd never seen her before it really creped her out, especially when he smiled brighter than she could remember, her own chest throbbed. She had missed him so much. She waited for his strong arms to envelope her but they didn't, she knew she shouldn't have expected them to. This wasn't the Jacob she knew standing before her now.

She watched him and he couldn't seem to concentrate, silently moving to pop the hood. She watched his hands shake as he lifted it, she'd never seen Jacob silent, she'd never seen his hands shake either, not even when – she didn't think about that promise, that promise had been short lived and she didn't think about it. _**Not ever.**_ She didn't want to hold it against him, what was done was done there was no changing it now.

But she didn't think it was possible for Jacob to act this way, it worried her about what might actually be going on down in La Push for him to have changed like this, physically was a shock at first but the emotional and psychological change was more significant to her.

He always had something to say, but she supposed that things weren't the same anymore even if he had smiled at her like nothing was different. He was just another person she wasn't good enough for. After a few moments he broke the silence.

"I'm going to have to come back with a truck and tow it back to the garage to look at it. I'll drop you home first."

Jacob dropped the hood and waited while Bella gathered her things, she waited for him to open the passenger door so she could get in, she purposely didn't look at him, she didn't want to talk to him despite how much she'd missed him.

Thing's were different now.

She didn't talk to him the entire drive home, the main reason was because she didn't know what to say other than, why, why, why, _why? _That was all she could think of. She tried calling Quil again on the drive home, his grandfather answered this time and said he was busy and hung up – just, quite literally – hung up. It was the same time as Jake pulled into the drive, her brain was ticking over a mile a minute, close to tears. She knew what was going on, she didn't understand it, Quil had promised her he wouldn't, that he would tell her the moment something happened so that she could be there for him, with him.

"Sam has him doesn't he?" Jake just looked at her and his heart broke right after hers, on the our side she may have looked sad but on the inside she was ready to kill.

"It's really not like that, Bells." Her face red, eyes narrowed and fist's balled, Jacob knew, there wasn't much she could hide from him.

"What? So, the last two months are because of what Jacob? What happened to you?"

"I was wrong." He muttered, she heard him but she didn't care, not really, not like that. It hurt too much.

"You were wrong? Oh, that's ok then, all's forgiven, we'll forget about it. You coming inside? I'll order pizza and we can watch a movie." She pulled the handle, hoisted her bag and slammed the door to his precious car. She gained some satisfaction from that and then immediately blanched at the thought of hurting him in anyway, because no matter how he had hurt her, upset Quil, if she was honest she would forgive him.

He just had to do one thing – be honest with her. She would know.

Jake wasn't going to follow her in, he knew she was hurt, but gently he did follow after her. Silently he took a hold of her wrist and spun her round to face him hoisting her up off the ground and he felt her tremble at the same time he did, it was so tense so emotional. He didn't want to let her go and he could feel her hands clenched into fists again around his neck and the little shuddering breath as she squeezed him back.

"I'll be back later, promise." He whispered into her hair as he lowered her to the ground.

As soon as he let her go, which he did reluctantly she straightened her jacket and pulled her hair out of her face and around her shoulder. He saw the slight hickey that had been left there and his fists clenched knowing that someone else, that his pack mate had done that.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." She whispered back not looking at him, she didn't wait for a response she just walked into the house and closed the door between them.

She tried not to think about what Jake said, in fact as bedtime drew closer she almost for got about it, she wondered what he was doing right at that moment but there was no bitterness there.

So she had to admit she was even more creped out when she came to close her blind in her room and saw him sitting in the tree across from her window, patiently waiting for her.  
"Jake, what the hell are you doing in the tree?"  
"I wanted to talk to you. I promised I would come back. I came back as quick as I could." he smiled, so wide, so bright she'd agree to anything to see her 'Jacob smile'.

"Are you going to be honest, there's no point otherwise." He nodded and she leaned back into her room, moving to close the window so she could go down stairs to unlock the front door.

"Stop! Just back up, Bells."

Watching him in the tree would have been hilarious if she hadn't been absolutely terrified of him hurting himself if he fell and _what_was he planning on doing exactly? She watched Jake lean forward and make the jump to her window and slide through the ridiculously small gap that looked no where near large enough to accommodate him. Then she watched as he unfolded him self practically when he landed with out making a sound.

The image of a boy so different to Jacob coming through that window stung. His smug smile as he placed his hands on his hips and rocked wasn't quite the Jacob she knew and loved and that stung as well, but then it didn't matter because this time he did envelope her in his arms and he held her and she held him back again and she didn't know if she would ever be ready to let him go. She'd missed him so much it almost hurt her now that he was back with her again.

Pulling back he looked at her, his dark eyes piercing. "I'm sorry Bells, I'll say it every day for the rest of my life. I mean it, I had no choice. I didn't know what to do, there was nothing I could do."

"Sure, Jake. He hit you over the head and dragged you off. Don't worry I understand." He knew she was hiding behind the sarcasm and he understood it.

"I hope you _do_understand. I think you will." He looked at her longingly; she could feel how nervous he was.

They sat next to one another, she felt so right and yet so wrong holding his hand. She shouldn't be doing this, she was Quil's girlfriend now, even if Jacob was her best friend there should be barrier's there but she couldn't find them.

She had never expected it to be anything world moving or life shattering with Quil, she enjoyed his company and it was so easy to get close to him physically, behind the bravo there was a quiet boy. What they had, it was nice and she didn't want to hurt him by suddenly by being ok with Jake again when he'd hurt them both. It took everything that she was not to reach out and hold Jake though.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She looked at him in question, "about the legends Bella." She was shocked and simply sat looking at him. "I know now Bella. About… _the Cullens._" He'd been watching her, of course. Her whole face tightened at the mention of them, how was it possible that he knew, she tried to ask, just to be sure but he didn't give her chance. "I know they are vampire's Bella." His fists clenched and unclenched, "one day Bella, not today, I'd like it if you told me what really happened with them, please." She scooted a little away from him. There was something not quite right, Jacob had never believed the stories, she didn't know what could possibly make him believe or how that would explain his absence.

"Don't talk right now, 'kay? Give me a chance to explain everything first." Bella didn't answer she was still going over how Jacob could possibly know about the Cullens. Jake just carried on with out her acknowledgment. "That night, at the cinema, when I told you how I felt, what I promised you... I was so angry that you were still so hurt because of him. I didn't understand, I was angry with you as well, I just… I just wanted you to see _me_. To see that it didn't really matter that he had hurt you or that you were scared about being hurt again because I'd never hurt you, Bells. I'll never leave you Bells." Bella did manage to find her tongue again,

"Jake, I'm, me and Quil, we're a couple now."

"I know, _I know, ok!" _She saw him tremble a little and she couldn't resist it, she took his hand. She didn't quite know what to say, Jake sighed with resignation. "He told me to tell you… that he couldn't wait to see you again." Bella didn't like hearing Jake stutter and stumble over his words, like he was in physical pain. She didn't like Jake talking about Quil at all if she was honest.

"Tell me what it was you wanted to tell me."

"The vampires, they aren't the only part of the legends that are true."

She was brought back to the present by Jake handing her the bowl of popcorn, she was finding it increasingly hard to concentrate on anything. They had given up trying to spend time in Jake's house or in the garage, they only went there if they needed to, even if Jake didn't mention it she knew Quil was usually within hearing distance and it was making things awkward between them both. It had been a month, a very difficult month in someway's and an exceptionally happy month in others. Jake told her there wasn't much of a problem within the pack, that Quil was being ok with him when they needed, he just wanted Bella to talk to him again.

She regretted not pulling away from Quil right from the beginning, even if she did love him in some way, they all knew it wouldn't last. It was nowhere near as much as she loved Jacob and because of that she knew she would never go back to Quil, there was no second chance to be had.

Jacob was everything to her, it wasn't the imprint either.

She realised that from being friends since they were babies even if their time together was limited, by being her oldest friend really meant something to her, something profound.

Everything about Jacob was profound.

She could have kissed him, the day Quil imprinted. She wanted to. Right there in her truck, she'd never felt pain or regret like the one she felt that day, not even when she was left in the woods. She could have so easily pressed her lips to his, he would have gone along with her but she knew there would be so much to work through if they had. She wanted to feel his skin, it had become almost hard not to be touching him, even mow they sat next to one another, his hand on her thigh with her own over his, fingers twined.

She longed for his warmth, warmth that was just right, that didn't make her sweat bullets laying in his arms.

That was the imprint. She knew because they all levelled at the same temperature so he wasn't any hotter than Quil it was the imprint telling her she was with the wrong wolf.

It had been a month, twenty eight days, she couldn't believe how quickly it had gone.

She didn't regret a moment. She'd not spent a night where she wasn't encased in Jacob's broad strong shoulders, her back pressed close to his chest, arm slung haphazardly around her as she used his shoulder as her pillow. She loved that, being close to him, being held, being wanted. She could feel that static in the air - amongst other things.

She loved his blush, it was human, it was part of the boy she brought the bikes to. He wasn't cocky or sure all the time, she could make him blush and she loved it, not that she wasn't usually sitting with him ten shades darker than he was but that was nothing new.

What astounded Bella the most was sleeping with Jacob, her bed, in his bed - which wasn't very big - not once Jake was in it but they could lay together, sleep together and not be wrapped up virtually in a knot, they could just hold hands, or even be laying back to back, heck one morning she woke up and Jake was half hanging of the bed and they were barely touching at all and she realised it was... Very nice not to be clung to every moment of the night, not that she didn't like that too but the feeling that she knew he was there, that he knew she was there without feeling as though they had to physically bind themselves to the other.

She had avoided the rest of the pack, she hadn't wanted to see Quil yet or to make things awkward.

The elders had arraigned the bonfire for the following Saturday, Quil refused to come. The elders insisted it still happened though. Bella went, along with the rest of the pack, Emily and Claire's family. The legends were told even if the truths weren't so the secret could be kept andQuil, he stood in the tree line and watched, she could feel him watching her as she stood by the bonfire with Jacob's arm around her shoulders, hanging loosely, in a not to intimate gesture. She couldn't believe that was just a month ago. At that point they were still acting exactly the same as they would have if nothing had changed, Jake was acting just the way he would have ifQuilhad been their with them and left her for a moment. She had felt him watching her as she talked to Emily, who was standing with her sister and little Claire and it hurt but she blinked away the tears and saw how she was everything Quil needed. She saw how he was everything she could need. She didn't need a father, obviously not a lover; she needed a playmate, someone with the right kind of energy, Bella knew Quil could do that.

Emily, knowingly encouraged her sister to tell Bella what Claire was like, how withdrawn she had become since her great grandfather's death two months previous and then when Bella was ready to leave Claire held her tightly and thanked her for the cookies and asked if there were more.

Bella told her they would have to make them together one time.

Silently Jacob took Bella's hand and they walked toward his car. When they reached it he rested down on the hood, by the wheel arch, his legs out stretched and pulled Bella close to him between them.

"I love you, Jake." She told him as she rested her face on his chest, with one arm wound round her middle and one around her shoulder he squeezed gently,

"I know you do, Bells." he kissed her head and pulled her closer, held her tighter as she began to cry.

Jacob carried her home, her hands wound into his hair holding him tightly, her legs wrapped around his waist. He couldn't have bared to sit next to her and drive her while she sat there hurting. She had been brave that day he thought. He didn't care what anyone else thought, that she was selfish, that she should have just been with Jake because they imprinted, Jake didn't want that, even if it would have been easier, he wanted her to want him.

He didn't think that, when they had spoken, in the first instance when he told her what she was to him, he saw what she saw and how she would have pushed Quil away but how could he ask that, expect that? Jacob would never do that, no matter what it cost him, maybe Quil should have offered, pushed a little more but Jacob didn't blame him either, it had hurt but it had been hurting him the entire time he had seen them together when he had to keep away. Quil came to him the afternoon after Jake had told Bella and told him that he would stop dating her, that even though she had said it would change nothing between them Quil was going to push her away. Jacob stopped him. He felt it was right for their relationship to end naturally. Even now with hind-sight he wouldn't change it. He knew them both, he knew himself, he would always wonder if she wanted to be with him, she would always feel obligated and Quil, well Quil was going to resent them both for a while right now anyway because of what had happened but Jake felt it was the best outcome for everyone.

Yes, he longed to kiss her, to hold her, to strip the clothes from her body and make love to her. Make her feel good. Jake knew that wasn't the imprint either, that was just Jake wanting Bells. Just like he had done since the day on the beach when her friends were surfing.

He didn't want to rush her, he wanted her to want him just as much but with the close proximity she was constantly of him now, which he loved, he really did and because he thought they really did need the proximity, just being together right now, which is what he always hoped for, what they really needed it was hard to keep his hands off her.

There had been times, a few moments when he had lay in his bed looking up at his ceiling, knowing she was in Quil's bed, in his arms kissing him and it had hurt, his wolf had bristled, mine. He couldn't sleep anyway so he took Jared's outer perimeter patrol and sent him to get some sleep. That became Jake's steady patrol, on a Friday evening, just as Quil'sbecame the Saturday morning.

Once, just one time during that change over Quil's head had been full of Bella, her scent, her warmth, a breathy moan. His wolf could not be stopped. Jacob himself had felt trapped as he beat Quil, Sam couldn't order him to stop either, even though he tried it didn't work. It had been Jacob's pure strength of will that he had phased back human, where he could hold himself composed better. He had known the reasons for this even if his wolf hadn't.

Quil ran a double shift that day and refused to tell Bella what happened, Jake found her and told her. She slapped him right across the face for fighting Quil just before she gathered him up in her arms as he knelt before her in virtually the same spot on Quil's muddy front lawn peppering kisses all over his face before finishing with a closed mouth, lingering kiss against his lips, she couldn't help it. That was how hisfirst kiss went with Bella Swan. As Quil stood behind her in shock, watching his girlfriend kiss one of his friends, her wolf.

It had been hard for the three of them to make it work but Jake had tried limitlessly to please her and Bella had tried to set him free and Quil, he had just gone along with it because he had fell in love with her, Jacob saw it.

They all knew the difficulties they faced and just as Jake's wolf had fought Quil's, Quil's wolf had submitted to her true mate and the higher-ranking wolf because it really was that simple for the wolf.

Mate, food, pack - that was how it was, in that order too.

Jake had been just as lost in thought as Bella had been when she virtually jumped up off the sofa, stumbling slightly in true Bella Swan style.

"This is redculus, I have to talk to him Jake." Jake frowned a little and shifted to face her still sitting on the sofa.

"Right now?"

"Yes, right now."

"Ok then." He had smirked at her panic, he could feel that she had suddenly decided, like she knew if she didn't do it right this moment she would loose her nerve. He'd seen her think about it quite often before changing her mind.

Jacob pulled his car up out side the Ateara'shome, the car idled for a moment as he flexed his fingers around the steering wheel of the rabbit.

"Everything will be ok, Bells." She smiled gently not really wanting to think how awkward this talk was going to be.

"He's asleep, you want me to go wake him?" She shook her head,

"Don't worry Jake. I walk over as soon as were done." Jake saw her hesitate as she looked toward the front door and back at him,

"Come on go before you loose your nerve again." He chuckled, she sat there quietly contemplating for a moment, her fingers of both hands curling through one another and stretching out again.

"I love you Jake." Before he could answer her lips were on his, this wasn't a fleeting kiss like all the times before he could feel she was pushing against him and he was shocked still with it. "I won't be long, promise." She said pulling away.

So it was that early afternoon thatBella found her self standing in Quil's bedroom slapping his bare ass as she slept in an attempt to wake he turned to her, "Get back into bed Bell, it's too early."

"Quil," she kneeled down next to him and pushed his hair out of his face, rubbing her thumb along his cheek.

"Bella?"

"Yes it's your ass up we have to talk." His huge arm came around her from behind and pulled her close,

"I missed you." Bella pulled away, her eyes filled a little and she ducked under his arm,

"I'll wait for you down stairs." She didn't want to leave him with any false impressions; things were hard enough without her giving him mixed signals.

Jacob heard Bella walking up the path to his home and he fought every instinct to rush to her. When she opened the front door he was waiting leaning against the wall in the hallway. He could tell she had cried, Quil had too but she was ok with everything and that was all that mattered to him.

"I was told someone was putting off an essay." Bella told him as she stepped toward him wrapping her tiny arms around his waist, he loved the way she would nuzzle his chest, his arms wrapped around her and she sighed.

"Everything ok?" She smiled, nodding and looked up at him and she trailed her arms up along his chest and rested them on his neck.

"Everything's fine."


	2. NEW VERSION Chapter One

~.oOo.~

Choice & Consequence

Written By TheMightyRen

Beta: Ynotjacob

Pre-reader: rllance

I really can't thank Ynot enough, having another set of eyes going over my writing is amazing, she's amazing and exactly what I needed to make sense of my 'Rennish'... ;-) and rllance, you've become such a good friend, so quickly, your insight, comments for these first chapters mean such a lot, I hope you know how encouraging I found your input.

Thank You, both of you ~ Ren xx

~ Chapter One ~

(A 'Mighty' mash-up of Chapter 9 ~ New Moon)

I wasn't miserable anymore and time was moving quickly. Between school, work, and Jacob an effortless pattern was formed. Charlie wasn't complaining, I was out of my room and functioning. I might have been fooling him and Jacob but I couldn't fool myself. My composure still hung on a thread at times; and that thread was none other than Jacob Black.

I was like a lost moon, my planet destroyed in some cataclysmic, disaster-movie scenario of dissolution. When I paused to take stock of life, something that I never liked to do, I was certain that I was putting too much faith in Jacob. What if he stopped being there for me? The consequences didn't bear thinking about.

The voice in my head had faded. Granted, I was better on the bike now but I didn't think that was entirely the root of the problem. No longer hearing the voice terrified me. Was I beginning to forget about Edward, his whole of his family? If only I had the photos, some physical proof that the were not a figment of my imagination. That might have helped.

One terrible weekend I slipped down the stairs, and I say it was terrible because Edward's voice didn't chastise me. Escaping a trip to the ER hadn't been any comfort to me, though it was for Charlie, even if he did have to replace the rail. Seeing me cartwheel down the stairs tangled in a mass of bedding would haunt him for years to come.

As a distraction, a last hope almost, I threw myself into searching for the meadow. It was frenzied, to the point where the feeling was palpable. I racked my brain in search of other adrenalin-producing activities, but couldn't think of any that would top the motorbikes without skirting on the edge of suicide.

Not keeping track of the days that passed and living as much as possible in the present left me unprepared for Jacob to bring up the date at the beginning of one of our homework sessions. He was waiting when I pulled up in front of his house.

"Happy Valentine's Day," Jacob said, smiling, but ducking his head as he greeted me. I considered if maybe he'd been using the phrase all day or if he had only said it to me. I realised that I should probably pay attention to the people around me more often.

He held out a small, pink box, balancing it on his palm. Conversation Hearts.

"Well, I feel like a schmuck," I told him cheerily, part of me trying to brush over the fact that it was obviously Valentine's and that Jacob was making something of it; that 'it' being directly linked to myself. Taking the box from him I tore it open, shaking the candy into my palm and flicking some of them over to find one to give back to him. It was the least I could do. "Is today Valentine's Day?"

Jake shook his head with mock sadness, "You can be so out of it sometimes. Yes, it is the fourteenth day of February. So are you going to be my Valentine?" His mock amusement and didn't bother to hide the genuine intention behind his request. "Since you didn't get me a fifty-cent box of candy?" And that was why I could be around Jacob so much, because no matter what he felt for me and no matter the boundaries he would push or how they would blend, he knew me and he saw how much it took me to let him as close as he was. I tried not to think of how he wanted more.

Smiling I bumped my shoulder into his arm and palmed him a candy, "BFF" before rolling my eyes. Being anything less than upbeat around Jacob was impossible.

"What exactly does that entail? Because I'm already sneaking you notes from my Arizona Literature stash." I joked back.

"Oh, well. I suppose." He looked flustered and dutifully embarrassed. "Just the usual 'slave for life' stuff, anyway. Nothing you can't handle, I don't think." His gaze slid to mine while he held the front door open for me and I chuckled. Again with the blurring of lines. It was flattering and Jacob had a lovely way of doing these things but... I couldn't let things change. The trouble was it was just so easy being with him. I would have to find a way to make the boundary lines clear again. It wasn't going to be an easy thing to do, especially when he would make sweet gestures like that.

"So, what are we doing tomorrow? Hiking or the ER?"

"What's Quil doing? Maybe you two should-"

"Grounded. He won't tell me why but I saw his mom. There is no way she's going back on it."

I nodded, "Hiking then." I decided. "I'm starting to think I imagined that place..." And I knew it was quite possible that I had.

"You know we'll find it. Bikes Friday?" He offered.

Seeing the chance to redefine our friendship I jumped at it, the two of us spending so much time alone together, this routine... it wasn't helping. I knew it wasn't just Jacob who needed reminding either. I was left alone on the forest floor. Unwanted and unloved, I reminded myself.

"I'm going to a movie Friday. I've been promising the cafeteria crowd that I would go forever." Mike would be pleased at least.

But Jacob's face fell, I had hoped he would enjoy the space. I caught the expression in his dark eyes before he dropped them to look at the ground. Hurting Jacob was something that I didn't want to do, not even if it was for his benefit.

"You'll come too, right?" I added quickly. "Or will it be too much of a drag to be with a bunch of boring seniors?" I hadn't ever pushed Jacob away and I realised that it wasn't going to be an easy task, especially when we seemed to be connected in an odd way; his pain set off little stabs of my own. On a positive note, I thought, maybe it would help keep Mike in line too if he saw me with Jacob.

"You'd like me to come, with your friends there?"

"Yes," I admitted honestly, "I'll have a lot more fun if you're there. Bring Quil, and we'll make it a party." I hoped Quil could add just a little more distraction for Jake.

"Quil's gonna freak. Senior girls." He chortled and rolled his eyes. I didn't mention Embry, and neither did he.

I laughed, too. "I'll try and get him a good selection." If I had been on the ball I would have said 'the two of you' but at the same time, I knew that the thought didn't cross my mind for a reason. Much later that night when I was at home, in bed alone and the house was silent, I tried to push away the churning feeling I felt in my gut when I imagined how Jessica would be around him.

Mike had some notion that his mom's Suburban was going to be necessary. Jessica was still giving me the cold shoulder. When she and Lauren found out that the outing was my idea they both claimed to be busy. Quil was still grounded and this time Jacob knew why. He had been the one to pull Quil off two older guys who had said something about Quil's grandad. Only Angela and Ben and, of course, Jacob and Mike were able to go, not that any of it mattered to Mike. He didn't shut up about it on Friday. Jessica didn't look impressed.

When I got home from school, a very familiar car was parked in front of my house. Jacob was leaning against the hood, a huge grin spread across his face.

"No way!" I shouted, jumping from the truck. "It's done? I can't believe it. You finished the Rabbit!"

If the grin hadn't been proof enough the bounce in his step as he walked toward me was.

"Just last night. This is her maiden voyage."

"Incredible," I told him, at the same time raising my hand and Jacob high fived me. He left his hand there, twisting his fingers through mine.

"So do I get to drive tonight?"

"Definitely," I said, and then I sighed heavily.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm giving up-I can't top this one. So you win. You're older."

He shrugged, winking cheekily, as though it was something he had been obviously waiting for me to admit to. "Of course I am."

At that moment Mike's battered Suburban chugged around the bend. I took the opportunity to pull my hand from Jacob's but stood proudly next to him. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed he pulled a face that I don't think I was supposed to see.

"I remember this guy," he said in a low voice. "The one who thought you were his girlfriend. Is he still confused?"

It was impossible for me not to comprehend Jake's possessive tone, "Some people are hard to discourage." I told him. It was honest enough and I couldn't resist the small dig at Jake. I wasn't his girlfriend and I had never given him the illusion that we might be more than good friends.

"Then again," Jacob said thoughtfully, "sometimes persistence pays off."

His attitude angered me and I spoke before I had chance to really think about it. "Most of the time it's just annoying, though." I glanced at Jake again a little nervously when I saw his body tense out of the corner of my eye. He focused on Mike before glancing back at me for a second, shooting me a lopsided grin, almost as though he hadn't been staring daggers at Mike.

"But not all of the time?"

I would have liked to have dismissed the warm fluttering feeling in my stomach by reasoning that his smile had been similar Edward's, but there was no similarity. I reminded myself again that I was broken and that I would never be worthy of Jacob because of it.

I perceived with the intense introductions and tense car ride - where Jacob and Mike competed to see who knew me better, obviously Mike hadn't stood a chance against Jacob. I had spent the majority of the ride stunned into silence as I observed how well Jacob knew me, especially some of the things I hadn't really known myself until they were mentioned. We watched the awful movie, which Jacob and I managed to laugh through after the awkward first forty minutes when both boys seemed to be trying to encourage me to take one of their hands. Mike was the first to give up, and the moment he did Jacob's warm hand reached across and found mine, unwrapping my arms from my chest. I hadn't realised I was holding myself so tightly until his warm thumb eased my fingers away from my palm and I felt the blood tingling as it returned to my digits.

We sat that way, his hand soothing mine? I wasn't in the mood to analyse whether it was something more or not. Mike groaned, cradling his head in his hands.

Momentarily paralyzed at the thought that Jacob and I holding hands had caused his reaction, I snatched my hand away from his and leaned toward Mike.

"Mike, are you okay?" I whispered.

The couple sat in front of us, who I think Jacob and I had thoroughly upset by laughing turned to give us a look and Mike groaned again.

"No," he gasped. "I think I'm sick."

I could see the sheen of sweat across his face in the light from the screen.

Mike groaned again and bolted for the door. I got up to follow him with Jacob close behind me. He wouldn't stay to watch the film even though I told him to. He said he wouldn't be getting his money's worth anyway,because it was terribly clichéd.

There was no sign of Mike out in the hallway, so Jake ducked into the bathroom and confirmed that he was definitely in there.

"What a marshmallow. You're going to hold out for someone with a stronger stomach, right? Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit?"

I was a little perturbed by Jacob's' one-upmanship. I'd conceded, held his hand over Mike's, if that was how he wanted to look at it. We weren't on a date. I didn't even want to date anyone, that wasn't supposed to be what tonight had been about. The hallway was deserted, only the popping from the popcorn machine at the concessions stand for company.

Jacob went to sit on the velveteen bench, scooting over further to make room for me when he saw was I was going to sit with him.

"He did sound as though he was going to be in there for a while." Stretching his long legs out in front of him he crossed his arms over his chest. We sat quietly for a moment. It was one of those silences where you know the other person is thinking about saying something, and knowing Jacob I knew that he was thinking about blurring more lines. In the end he wrapped his arm around my waist and dragged me toward him, closing my 'friendship' gap.

"Jake," I whined. It was too intimate, I just couldn't let him be this way.

"Well what are you doing all the way over there? Do I look as though I have the cooties?" Leaning away I sighed. When I shot him a look that I hoped told him I wasn't taking his crap he released me. I shifted away a little further, not as far as I had been but it was enough to make a point. Where did he get this confidence from? It wasn't like Jacob to be this forward.

"Hold on a minute, Bella. Tell me something."

I grimaced, I didn't want to tell Jacob anything right now. Not now, not ever, nothing even close to this subject. I didn't want this discussion. I could feel everything was about to come crashing down around me and then what would I do? What would I do without Jacob?

"What?" I snapped, I couldn't help it. I was terrified of anything changing.

"You like me, right?" Jacob Black seemed determined to ruin everything tonight.

"You know I do." It was barely a mumble. Jacob just seem to understand. Not only did like him, I'd do virtually anything for him. Anything but feel for him the way he wanted.

"You, like me better than that joker puking his guts out in there?" Gesturing to the bathroom door with his thumb.

I suddenly realised how large his hands had gotten. How did we even hold hands? It seemed like a physical impossibility that we would fit together. Trying not to stare, or even look at him, I sighed, "Yes."

"Well that's great. As long as you like me the best, that's all that matters." He wound his arm around my shoulder and I settled in. I could understand where he was coming from. I don't think I would have liked seeing Jessica and Lauren fawn all over him if they had come tonight. It was stupid and selfish but it was how I felt. It didn't matter how things looked to anyone on the outside didn't really matter so long as Jacob was okay with it, but I did need to know he understood completely that there was no chance of me ever recovering from the way Edward had treated me.

"I'm not going to change you know, Jacob." Even though I tried to keep my voice steady, I knew there was a sadness there. It was upsetting knowing that I would be forever alone, that I had been damaged and hurt so terribly that no matter how good of a man Jacob was I would never be able to trust him. That even if I didn't see Jacob as my cousin or brother, knowing how good he was wouldn't ever change anything.

His face was thoughtful, "It's still the other one, isn't it?"

I cringed. Did it have to be so obvious?

"You don't have to talk about it, but don't get mad at me for hanging around. I'm prepared to be annoyingly persistent. I've got loads of time." He reached across and took my hand, weaving his fingers through mine.

I wanted so much to push him away, I was such a contradiction. Here I was telling him I would never change and yet I longed to have someone hold me the way Jacob was, to pay attention to me the way Jacob did and know me the way he did. It raised the question, did they ever know me the way Jacob did? I didn't ponder too long on the answer to that, I didn't admit or dismiss anything associated with it either.

"You shouldn't waste your time on me." If he found someone else one day, someone who could make him happy and love him back, who wasn't as damaged as I was, I would let him go. I just had to hope that I was strong enough when the time came.

"It's what I want to do, as long as you still like to be with me."

Leaning into his shoulder I confessed. "I can't imagine ever not liking being with you.

Jacob beamed. "I can live with that." His chin rested on top of my head and it must have looked far more intimate than it actually was. I felt his breath move my hair when he spoke.

Letting go of his hand I fisted his top and looked up at him. "Just don't expect more, please, for your sake." I tried to pull away but he wouldn't let me go. My hand fell to his thigh.

"This doesn't bother you, does it?" Jacob was so much warmer than I was. I always felt so cold these days.

"No," I sighed.

"And you don't care what he thinks?" He nodded his head toward the bathroom door again.

"No."

"Then what's the problem?" I turned my hand palm up and watched as his palm covered mine.

"The problem," I told him, threading our hands together, "is that this means something different to you than it does to me." Flexing my fingers I hoped to make the point a little more defined.

"Well." Jacob tightened his arm around my back and squeezed my fingers.

I wanted this, so much. I wanted to throw caution to the wind and just be with Jacob, because it would be so easy. It wouldn't be forgetting what had been, or dismissing it.

What held me back was the fear of losing Jacob, it was almost worse that the abandonment I'd already experienced. It was that which stopped me from looking into his eyes, because I knew what would come next. I knew what I would have wanted him to do if ever he had held me this way, and that would have meant losing the wavering, diminishing boundaries I had left between Jacob and I. That was not a gamble I was going to take, especially when age, life was stacked against us.

His thumb snuck down, caressing my wrist . When it brushed against the scar James had left , we both flinched.

"Where did you get that scar from? It's healed badly."

I stilled, probably too obviously, but the story behind this scar was not one I could share with Jacob.

"Do you honestly expect me to remember where all my scars came from?"

I waited for the memory to hit, to open the gaping hole in my chest, but it never came. Jacob's presence kept me whole.

"It's so much colder than the rest of your arm." Curiously he released me from his embrace and pushed the sleeve of my sweater up my arm, working both hands along it as though to stimulate the circulation. I shrugged.

Mike came stumbling out of the bathroom and I was pleased for the distraction. He looked horrible.

"Oh, Mike," I gasped.

"Do you mind leaving early?" He rasped, swallowing excessively.

"No, of course not." I went to hold his elbow, he looked terribly unsteady.

"Movie too much for you?" Jacob asked heartlessly.

Mike's glare was malevolent. "I didn't actually see any of it," he mumbled. I didn't think that was entirely true. "I was nauseated before the lights went down."

"Why didn't you say something?" I scolded. Why had he even turned up if he was feeling ill? Mike staggered towards the exit. I didn't really want to be too close to him, even though I knew chances were I was already going to catch whatever Mike had.

"I was hoping it would pass."

What an idiot, I thought. Jacob returned waving a bucket from the concessions stand in front of Mike. I shuddered, not wanting to think about cleaning puke out of the back of Jacob's Rabbit.

It was a quiet drive home, almost as though Mike wasn't sitting in the back. He threw up as soon as Jake pulled the car to the curb outside his house.

"I'll get my parent's to bring my car home, Bella." Mike told me before spitting into the bucket-gross.

I was freezing from having wound the front windows down in an attempt to help with Mike's queasy feeling. Relieved to see the back of him, I wound the passenger window up quickly, Jacob did the same with his.

"Cold again?" He asked turning on the heaters.

"You aren't?" I said in a disbelieving tone. He reached toward me, his hand resting on my knee as though his warmth would radiate through the rest of my body.

I gasped in shock when I felt how hot he was. "You have a fever, Jake."

At the lights I held the back of my hand to his forehead.

"Whoa, you're burning up!"

"I feel fine." He pushed my hand away, "Fit as a fiddle. I don't get sick - ever."

I frowned, touching his head again. His skin was blazing hot. Sweat should have been pouring from him. Hell I was no expert, but I was sure he should have been at the hospital.

"Your hands are like ice," he complained.

"Maybe it is me." I conceded. I wasn't entirely sure, even after having all the windows open and generally feeling colder despite the layers, I would swear Jacob was hot.

When he pulled in front of Charlie's house I was tempted to check his temperature again now that my fingers had warmed a little.

"I'd invite myself in, only I think you might be right about the fever. I feel a little... strange."

"Oh not, not you too. Do you want me to drive you home?"

"No." He shook his head, his eyebrows pulling together. "I don't feel unwell. Just... wrong."

"Will you call me as soon as you get in?" I asked anxiously.

"Sure, sure." He frowned, staring ahead into the darkness and biting his lip.

I opened my door to get out, but he grabbed at my wrist lightly and held me there.

"What is it Jake?" I was genuinely worried about him, and if he got sick... what would Billy do? I knew how much Jacob did for his dad, and if Jacob was feeling rotten there was no one else around to help.

"There's something I want to tell you, Bella... but I think it's going to sound kind of corny. I can't think of any other way though, so if you can, just think I said it that way instead, okay?"

I nodded, thinking I knew pretty much what he was going to say. "Go ahead." Might as well let him go for it, I reasoned with myself.

"It's just that, I know you're unhappy-a lot. And maybe I don't help all that much, but I wanted you to know I'll always be here for you. I won't ever let you down, and I promise that you can always count on me. I will never, ever hurt you. Wow! That does sound corny, but it's true."

I smiled sadly, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. He was still offering friendship; maybe our closeness tonight wouldn't damage the boundaries too much.

"Yeah, Jake. I know, and I already count on you, probably more than you know."

The smile that broke out on his face was like the last ray of sun staining the horizon a blazing orange. I wanted to cut my tongue out. None of it was a lie but I should have lied for Jacob, because another truth was that I would let him down and I would hurt him.

A strange look crossed his face. " I really think I'd better get home now," he said.

I got out quickly.

"Call me!" I yelled as he pulled away.

As I watched him drive away, he seemed in control of the car at least. I stared at the empty street when he was gone, feeling a little sick myself, but not for any physical reason.

How I wished that Jacob Black had been born my flesh and blood brother. It would have left me free of any blame now. I had never meant to love him. I knew it now in the pit of my stomach, from the crown of my head to the tips of my toes that I loved him. Jacob ran deep through my bones, filling the hollow shell that was my heart, and I knew how loving someone gave them the power to break you.

I'd been broken, beyond repair.

I physically needed Jacob right now, he had been my crutch for only a few short weeks and I needed to find a way to give him back his freedom. He was my best friend, I owed it to him and I loved him enough that I wanted to see him happy. I knew unequivocally that my love would never, ever be enough for what he deserved.

I watched the clock after talking to Charlie. He was a little surprised to see me home early. He was trying to usher me to bed, to rest. I must have looked a little off colour.

"I just want to wait for Jake to call, he said he would." Charlie nodded as I drummed my nails on the counter. Eight minutes, fifteen minutes, twenty-one minutes. I couldn't wait any longer. Panic stricken, I grabbed for the phone and dialed the all too familiar number.

Billy answered on the eighth ring, breathless. I had been just about to hang up.

"Hello?"

"Billy, it's me, Bella. Did Jake get home yet? He said he wasn't feeling too great when he left here."

"He's here," Billy said tonelessly.

"Oh." Worry dampened my irritation at him for not calling.

"He was too sick to call, he's not feeling well right now." Billy sounded distant. I realised he must want to be with Jacob.

"Please, let me know if you need any help with anything." I offered. "I could come down, no problem."

"No, no." Billy said quickly. "We're fine. Stay at your place." The way he said it told me that he really didn't want me around. It hurt. Maybe Jake had told him what had happened between us and he was looking out for his son.

"Okay," I agreed.

"Bye, Bella."

The line disconnected.

At least he had made it home, though I didn't feel any better for knowing that. I trudged up the stairs thinking about ways I could help out.

Jacob's voice in my mind saying, I never get sick - ever, was weighing heavily on my mind.

All bets were off though, when a couple of hours later I found myself burying my face into the toilet bowl.

Charlie tapped on the door and asked, "Is there anything you need?"

Shaking my head first I rested my forehead on the seat before calling out, "No." my voice broken by another wave of vomit forcing itself from my body.

"Stomach flu," he finally said.

"Yes," I moaned, "Call the Newtons for me, please?" I asked hoarsely.

"Sure, no problem, Bells."

I spent the rest of the day on the bathroom floor, I vaguely remembered taking myself back to bed at one point only having to return moments later.

It was dark when I woke, hearing Charlie's heavy foot fall on the stairs. He came into my room and set a glass of water on the table beside my bed.

"Still alive?"

"Sort of," I mumbled. My lips were dry and cracked, but the effort required to sit and take a drink outweighed the need for hydration at the moment.

"Can I get you something? Toast? Maybe some eggs?" He asked hesitantly.

"Urgh." Burying my head, face down into my pillow, I willed his words - the idea of food - from my mind completely.

"How is Jacob? Do they need anything?" I asked into my pillow. Charlie's voice cracked like he was a little shocked by my concern.

"Billy said he is resting. You know Jake, he sleeps like the dead when he wants to. They'll be fine."

I nodded, hoping he was right but not truly well enough to move so I could look at him. The floorboards creaked.

"Karen said Mike's up and about now, so that's good. You have about six hours left, Bellschika."

I didn't wake again until morning. Astounded how well I felt, my stomach growled with excessive hunger. Those eggs and toast offered the previous day sounded like a plan. Nervously I sat up and took a drink of the water Charlie had left. My tummy gurgled, longing for something more substantial.

Feeling well enough to move, I pulled on my joggers and socks from the side of my bed and wrapped myself in my duvet before trudging down stairs still wearing the vest I'd pulled on the day before. I was cold again.

I grabbed the phone and dialed the Black's as I filled the kettle.

Jacob was the one who answered, but when I heard his greeting I knew he wasn't over it yet.

"Hello?" His voice was broken, cracking.

"Oh, Jake. You sound horrible." I said sympathetically.

"I feel horrible." His voice sounded different over the phone now.

"I am so sorry I made you go out with me. This sucks."

"No, I'm glad I went." His voice was just a whisper. "Don't blame yourself, this isn't your fault."

"You'll get better soon," I promised. "I've just woken up fine, maybe you just need to sleep some more. Are you resting?"

"You were sick?" He asked.

"I was, I'm all better now." I told him cheerily.

"That's good." His voice was dead, almost like he didn't want to talk to me. "I don't think I have the same thing you did." I could hardly hear him speak.

"You don't have the stomach flu?" I asked, confused.

"No. This is something else."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Everything hurts." I could hear his pain.

"Maybe you better get back to bed. I'll bring you something." The urge to help him was almost overwhelming. I needed to get to him. "I've already been exposed to whatever it is that you have, let me help." I reasoned. Let me look after you the way you have me, I wished silently.

I heard Billy call for him somewhere in the background.

"I have to go Bella. Don't visit. You can't come here." His tone caused the air to leave my lungs in a rush, I didn't have a chance to say anything before the line disconnected, and even if I had been able to think of something, I couldn't have voiced it. There was a distinct finality in his tone that had the fissures of my heart split open.

After I forced down breakfast, I reminded myself that Jake was just sick and simply didn't want me fussing over him. That had to be all it was.

~.oOo.~

I know I said that I wasn't going to post a story again without it being completed but it turns out that I just can't get my head straight when I have a 'backlog' of chapters, SEVEN is the most I can manage and once again I'm secretly writing eight stories on the go. *HEAD-DESK* (I don't think I'll ever manage to write anything original without being spoon-fed by most of my fandom buddies every step of the way.)

I'm sorry, bear with me, I'll just post everything I have when I have it, nothings being abandoned but my lust for writing... I'm like a puppy in the snow and want to jump all over everything all at the same time.

Please, please leave me a message down there, I don't write for payment, for review numbers, I write because I LOVE seeing what you guys think and NING sites, they are such a great way to actually discuss a topic we are all inspired by, passionate about, or even frustrated with.

~.oOo.~


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